Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Families' Thoughts - Weight Loss

In Season 4's episode entitled "Chair Model" we were introduced to the "Five Families" of the Scranton Business Park. Michael Scott is the representative from Dunder Mifflin and he is joined by Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration, Paul "Cool Guy" Faust of Disaster Kits Limited, W.B. Jones of W.B. Jones Heating and Cooling and Bill Cress of Cress Tool and Dye.

As the new season is upon us, we are always looking for people to share their Two Cents about episodes of The Office, and who better to give an insight about the workers at Dunder Mifflin than the other heads of the Five Families?

So, without further ado, we present the thoughts of the men who run the Scranton Business Park.

Vance's View: The Dunder-Mifflin "team" is to be commended for their dietary efforts in 'WEIGHT LOSS'. However, Mr. Schrute's tactics with Mrs. Phyllis Vance are UNACCEPTABLE and have been duly-noted by BOB VANCE, VANCE REFRIGERATION, who has a very long memory and a low tolerance. Congratulations to Mr. Halpert and Ms. Beesley. Finally... and beautifully done.

Cool Guy Paul's Cool Thoughts: I'll give you my comments only because you were smart enough to ask for it over oppossed to scheduling a waste of time meeting.
At Disaster Kits Limited we specialize in helping people be more prepared for the unexpected. Let's look quickly at where the employees of Dunder Mifflin succeeded and failed at this.
Dwight - had spray to ruin the food so the others couldn't eat - PREPARED
Jim - could have asked me to send one of the "business associates" from my past line of work to keep on eye of Pam in N.Y. - NOT PREPARED
Andy - put down 4 non-refundable deposits for differnt wedding locations. Great back-up planning. - PREPARED
Phyllis - had to walk 5 miles because she didn't have purse or phone. No back up plan - NOT PREPARED
Michael - had condoms in wallet - PREPARED
Utica Branch - had me alter the scale in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse so they wouldn't lose as much weight - PREPARED
I will leave you with one final thought. Michael incorrectly identified the #1 cause of death in this country. It is not obesity. It is emergencies and disasters.

Be Safe, Be Ready, Be Prepared

W.B. Jones' Grade A Badass Review: I can't see how Dunder Mifflin stays in business. Obviously their paper products sell themselves because the caffones they have working there can't sell anything! Dwight's the only guy worth his salt, he wants to win at any cost..... even forcing Phyllis to hike five miles.... my kinda guy!

Cress' Convo: The size of Holly's butt is not a proper subject for discussion. What size is it anyway?

We have to thank the men BEHIND the men behind Scranton - Bobby Ray Shafer (Bob Vance), Paul Faust (Cool Guy Paul), Barry Sigismondi (W.B. Jones) and Terrence Beasor (Bill Cress) for their amazing willingness to share with us and all the Dunderheads out there!


  1. I loved the comments from these guys....especially Cool Guy Paul's.

    Thank you for posting this,

    Paul's mom

  2. This. Is. Awesome.

    When Phyllis got on the phone after Dwight ditched her, I was sure it was to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. He would have cleaned Dwight's clock!

  3. This is really funny! Did YOU write this yourself? Or was it a real interview? SOMEBODY deserves a lot of credit for such a creative sketch!

  4. This was written by the actors who played the roles. It's all them!

  5. Well KP, you deserve a lot of credit for orchestrating this fun interview. These guys are GOOD, and they should have a steady writing gig, like Dwight's blog or Creed's "Thoughts." I'm sure a lot of Officionados would want to know what "the families" think on a regular basis. Thanks for putting this together!

  6. Pretty amazing, KP and Family guys! I'm just sorry we didn't see this in time to mention it in this week's TOA! :(

    Keep up the great work, KP! Woot, Season FIVE!

  7. When are going to see more of these tenants? Anybody have a clue?

    I think its great