Thursday, September 20, 2007
Memo from Ryan Howard
It looks like I've been hired, now we wait and see what our jobs will be I think!
TO: All New Dunder Mifflin Infinity Employees
FROM: Ryan Howard, Director of Dunder Mifflin Infinity
SUBJECT: Your life is about to change.
To All New DM Infinity Employees,
Welcome to the future of Dunder Mifflin. We're thrilled to have you aboard. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am, but that's mainly because our legal department has advised me not to do so. Instead, let me just say that the project we're all embarking on will change the paper industry. For the better.
By joining the Dunder Mifflin Infinity team, you have joined a movement. A movement that will sweep the nation. A movement that will shatter all of your preconceptions regarding how paper and office supplies are sold, distributed, catalogued, warehoused, and delivered. Dunder Mifflin Infinity was designed, by myself, as a means to topple the old guard. If my projections are correct, this project will make Dunder Mifflin more profitable than Exxon (in terms of comparative percentages). Aren't you glad you're here?
While the business model for DM Infinity is different, the principles of Dunder Mifflin remain the same. We are committed to excellence through serving our customers. Without customers, we are nothing. Although you will not be dealing with customers directly, you are responsible for conducting yourself in a professional manner at all times. Just as the physical branches in Akron, Albany, Buffalo, Camden, Nashua, Scranton, Utica, and Yonkers operate with the utmost degree of professionalism, you too will be a reflection of the Dunder Mifflin name. Treasure this. Live by this. You are an extension of the company. Do not let us down.
Dunder Mifflin Infinity is a unique opportunity. We are committed to excellence. Stay with us long enough and you'll want to be committed, too.
Director of Dunder Mifflin Infinity